Terminologies such as ‘cyber bullying’, ‘cyber stalking’ and ‘online reputation’ did not even exist a few years ago. Dictionaries, one may say, have not found it easy to keep up. And it’s not just dictionaries. Almost every part of life has been reshaped by the Internet, including good parenting; as a guardian, your job description has just been extended.
Kids and teenagers are vastly exposed to the Internet, and sometimes, with devastating consequences. Thankfully, there are a lot of things you can do to curb your child’s online behaviour properly, so that he/she enjoys the fun of it, without falling prey to it.
Despite all the technological advances, the best possible advice has not become obsolete: nurture an open, healthy relationship with your children. Kids should never doubt that you are there for them no matter what. And it is this open relationship that will be the portal by which you can give advice on Internet safety and through which your children will share their worries and problems. Have a bitter relationship with them, and they will become as deviant and elusive as ever.
First of all, it is important for you to get into the web, if you already aren’t, that is. If you feel that you are ‘technologically challenged’, whatever that means, have a close friend, your spouse or your little one’s elder sibling take the responsibility.
For the initial years, when your children are very small, consider using the Internet together. In that way, you can ensure it’s totally under your control while giving you the chance to educate them about the value of passwords, the importance of not sharing personal information, the notion of ‘stranger danger’ online, etc. It may help to have the computer in a common place like in the living room, instead of having it in their room. In this way, you can better monitor your child’s activities.
Your computer has monitoring capabilities of its own. For example, Windows has certain in-built parental controls you can activate. Just go to Parental Controls from Control Panel. Create a separate user account for your child. This can also be password-protected.
Cover StoryNow, you are ready to monitor your child’s access and usage. You can specify particular time periods when your child will not be allowed to use the PC. You can specify games that will be blocked according to rating. If any game is not recognised by the computer, you can block the program itself.
But what about online activities, you may ask. Actually, you can control and monitor them too. There are several web filtering and monitoring tools. Take Windows Live Family Safety for example. It might be already installed in your Windows; if not, you can download it for free. In order to use this tool, first you have to follow the same procedure to create a separate account for your children like the one mentioned above.
On a very simple and user-friendly interface, you can set curfews, block particular websites, allow only certain websites, etc. And of course, this web-filtering tool allows you to block all websites having contents inappropriate for users under the age of 18.
Another vital feature is that you can closely monitor your children’s online activities. Its ‘activity reports’ will show you the specific websites visited, the number of times they have been visited, etc.
Yes, you may raise an eye brow or sneer on how parents violate their children’s privacy. To what extent you will keep track of your child’s activities is a call you have to make. Perhaps it’s not a bad idea to monitor closely for the first year or so of your child’s first Internet use. Your child will know that you are monitoring his activities anyway, so it’s not that you are going behind his back. The basic rule of good parenting — nurturing a friendly and open relationship — will help cope with the child’s sensitivity issues.
But yes, know where to draw the line and let go.
Now, let’s move on to something you have heard your child talk about a billion times: Facebook. Being a social networking site, it surely has a lot of risks for a careless user. First of all, it is officially illegal for people under the age of 13 to own a Facebook account. So here you go, if you are thinking whether your child is ready to use Facebook, his age might be the deciding factor.
Teach your children not to accept ‘friend requests’ from strangers. Also, keep track of the photos your children upload or get ‘tagged’ on. Sometimes pictures your children may think are alright to upload may actually be inappropriate without him/her realising it. It may actually be totally fine, but you need to understand the mindset of people who are on your Facebook.
To your astonishment, you will find a large number of obscene and offensive ‘fan pages’ or ‘groups’ focused on providing photos of girls. Most of these photos don’t contain nudity — and many of them are not even inappropriate — but unfortunately, given the number of perverts and the vague and subjective definition of appropriateness, these photos are luring enough to enter these ‘groups’.
Since you are a grown-up you can use your judgement regarding which photo to upload, but what about teens? The way out is to have strict privacy settings, a highly restricted ‘friend list’ and your monitoring.
Be it Facebook or other social networking sites, or chat rooms, the dangers are always there.
Children (and arguably, adults too) can easily open up more while chatting than during face-to-face conversations. Talk to your children about the fact that a person can use a fake identity to start conversations.
And they start smoothly and harmlessly. Abusers have good patience. Slowly, they will get to what they need, from ‘a little too friendly’ chats to asking your child to meet physically; these may be followed by disastrous consequences. Teach your child never to accept such an invite. Discuss with your child whether any known or unknown person in the internet seems a little odd, or is trying to bully.
More badly, experts say that these days the end product for abusers doesn’t necessarily have to be a face-to-face meet-up; it can happen online — via webcams.
Webcams have opened up an area which is fun and productive; but it is also scary for parents. Child porn, abuse and blackmailing through webcams are already a rising concern in many countries. Again, monitoring online activities, settings strict privacy options on Skype and an open discussion with your children are the things you must do.
Are we scared now? Well, we are supposed to be. But it is also important to realise that completely forbidding the use of computers will not address the issue. There are dangers in the streets, playgrounds and even in classrooms. Does that mean children will sit at home all day? That can’t be the solution.
Technology has always been a double-edged sword. With the right parenting, the worldwide web can truly be a fun and joyous tool for learning and entertainment.
Source - The Daily Star
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